Word association

"But it's an emergency! An actual emergency. Sophie's... having a breakdown."

"Right. And, ahem, you're comforting her."

"Yes."

"So why are you still talking about bloody boys?"

I am, apparently, spending too much time on the phone. Not true, although the amount of times "get-off-the-land-line-you-have-a-mobile" is yelled in my house might suggest otherwise...

Aha! I went to see Borat! And it is just so funny. In a strange, cringeworthy way, but so funny nevertheless. The boring, boring people who bang on about how offensive it is should just take a moment to observe the genius that is Sasha Baron Cohen. He makes jokes that no other person would (or could) dream of creating. And I love Borat's misogyny. It is the perfect antidote to those sombre, holier-than-thou-art feminists who like to talk (and talk) about how repressed women are without ever trying to do anything, and blaming it on the men. Some of these women forget how bloody lucky we are in countries like Britain to have that equality and the opportunites that we do. Instead of tutting that less women than men are in the highest-paid jobs, perhaps they should get on a plane to the dark places in the world where women are routinely mutilated, dominated and oppressed.

But I digress. Everyone should see Borat. It is a brilliant film.

I was reading a feature today about how people associate single words to their friends and family. Strange, I thought, that relationships can be so complex but we can sum up the people we know in a word. Impossible, even. But no. So here are mine, a single word, or thereabouts, for each person. But in the spirit of harmony (and not sticking my neck out) I won't name names:

Scared. Hilarious. Sweet. Most intelligent, but most hidden. Bravado. All heart. A tough, tough cookie. The more you know, the better you like. Pretentious. Fun. Self-assured. Pensive. Emo!!! Fearless. Too cool for school. Really good looking. In love. A chip off the old block. An idiot.

But collectively, they are perfectly balanced.